We pursue pleasure and avoid pain and are hard wired to respond to it.
Especially
avoiding pain, as that's quite a useful survival tactic.
We have evolved to respond to these two directions so can we use this to our advantage. The reason your ancestors survived is because they were highly skilled at following this universal law.
We respond with ACTION only when pain outweighs pleasure
For example:
- the pain of staying in a job you hate outweighs the pleasure/ comfort/ security of staying where you are. You apply for a new job.
- when the pain of what inactivity does to our physical
and mental state outweighs the pleasure of staying on the sofa we get up and get moving.
Pain isn't just physical it can be such things as regret, frustration, boredom etc.
It is possible to use this to advantage with a little bit of work.
- Go after the habit or behaviour that causing you the most negativity currently
- Write down as many negative and painful things you can associate with this habit
- Spend as much time as you can really thinking through each of these, imagine yourself further down the path that this habit could take you. I looked up the effects of emphysema and checked out some pictures of the lungs affected by this
disease when I gave up smoking to make sure I stayed given up.
- Get mad with the habit, really mad
- When you find yourself following the pattern/ habit, stop and go back to 1)
This all seems obvious I know, however really going to town and getting really fired up can keep you on track.
This works the other way too. Whenever you succeed go massively overboard in congratulating yourself and feeling satisfaction. However small each victory may seem, make it a large step as far as you are concerned.
It really is possible to 'hack' your habits for the better with practice, patience and getting a tiny bit crazy
;-)
I have a colleague that coaches public speaking and one of his techniques is to get his clients to walk into a coffee shop and just lie down on the floor not saying a word for three minutes. Then they just get up and leave. This gets his clients comfortable with being uncomfortable in public and re-positions public speaking as a pleasurable experience compared to acting like loon in a coffee
shop!
In short, become an expert in making the right choices to move away from pain through ACTION. Make it a game...level up whenever you can.
Stay crazy,
J
